Contains spoilers for this episode.
Captain Blackadder recognises the arrival of a service revolver and fresh patriotic reading as signs that another attack is approaching. Baldrick suggests escaping into the kitchens, but his cooking makes the prospect unpromising. An opportunity to become an artist for King and Country seems better: the successful applicant will apparently leave the trenches for Paris. Edmund and Baldrick's pictures fail to impress, while George reveals an unexpected talent for painting the heroic image headquarters wants.
Edmund claims George's work as his own and wins the appointment. General Melchett then explains that the magazine assignment was a cover story. His new artist must enter no man's land and draw the German defences. George and Baldrick accompany Edmund into darkness, where an uncertain reading of the map places them among mines. Blackadder finally realises that they can return to the dugout and let George invent the alarming enemy positions instead of trying to observe them under fire.
The resulting picture includes an extraordinary quantity of military equipment and elephants. It persuades Darling that an attack should be cancelled, but Melchett concludes that attacking strong defences will confuse the enemy and orders the advance anyway. Edmund returns to Baldrick's cooking idea. A fraudulent telephone call removes headquarters' cook, and three supposed Italian chefs take his place. Blackadder and his companions serve their appalling meal behind the lines, successfully missing the assault they were meant to join.